Main

humour Archives

October 13, 2007

Australian Citizenship test

Here's a joke to break the atmosphere, sent to me by my good friend Thomask

2007 Australian Citizenship Test

  1. Do you understand the meaning, but are unable to explain the origin of, the term 'died in the arse'?
  2. What is a "bloody little beauty"?
  3. Are these terms related: chuck a sickie; chuck a spaz; chuck a U-ey?
  4. Explain the following passage: 'In the arvo last Chrissy the relos rocked up for a barbie, some bevvies and a few snags. After a bit of a Bex and a lie down we opened the pressies, scoffed all the chockies, bickies and lollies. Then we drained a few tinnies and Mum did her block after Dad and Steve had a barney and a bit of biffo.'
  5. Macca, Chooka and Wanger are driving to Surfers in their Torana. If they are travelling at 100 km/h while listening to Barnsey, Farnsey and Acca Dacca, how many slabs will each person on average consume between flashing a brown eye and having a slash?
  6. Complete the following sentences:-
    • 'If the van's rockin' don't bother ?
    • You're going home in the back of a ?
    • Fair crack of the ?
  7. I've had a gutful and I can't be fagged. Discuss
  8. Have you ever been on the giving or receiving end of a wedgie?
  9. Do you have a friend or relative who has a car in their front yard 'up on blocks'? Is his name Bruce and does he have a wife called Cheryl?
  10. Does your family regularly eat a dish involving mincemeat, cabbage, curry powder and a packet of chicken noodle soup called either chow mein, chop suey or kai see ming?
  11. What are the ingredients in a rissole?
  12. Can you demonstrate the correct procedure for eating a Tim Tam?
  13. Do you have an Aunty Irene who smokes 30 cigarettes a day and sounds like a bloke?
  14. In any two-hour period have you ever eaten three-bean salad, a chop and two serves of pav washed down with someone else's beer that has been flogged from a bath full of ice?
  15. When you go to a bring- your-own-meat barbie can you eat other people's meat or are you only allowed to eat your own?
  16. What purple root vegetable beginning with the letter 'b' is required by law to be included in a hamburger with the lot?
  17. Do you own or have you ever owned a lawn mower, a pair of thongs, an Esky or Ugg boots?
  18. Is it possible to 'prang a car' while doing 'circle work'?
  19. Who would you like to crack on to?
  20. Who is the most Australian: Kevin 'Bloody' Wilson, John 'True Blue' Williamson, Kylie Minogue or Warnie?
  21. Is there someone you are only mates with because they own a trailer or have a pool?
  22. What does "sinkin piss at a mates joint" and "getten para" mean?

Technorati Tags: , ,

January 16, 2008

Watch the ending...

And a media whore to boot.

February 17, 2008

Color Pencils Reviewed

Warning Geek Alert

Very funny look at colour pencils

[From Color Pencils Reviewed]

March 26, 2008

Nikon D90 Specifications Revealed

Here's a great laugh!

..."My Nikon contact tells me their R&D people are now working on a system that eliminates the photographer altogether. Nikon's customer research has discovered that when a photographer takes a great image, they claim all the credit. But when a photographer takes a bad image, they blame the camera.

By eliminating the photographer, Nikon plan to eliminate lousy photos altogether..."

[From Nikon D90 Specifications Revealed]

Now if folks in this thread would just read it!

April 1, 2008

Been There Done that

Tell the truth now!

The Political Compass - Test
Uploaded with plasq's Skitch!

April 10, 2008

Photoshop!

You suck at Photoshop

And a board for advanced Photoshop users, isn't the interwebs a wonderful thing!

April 24, 2008

YouTube - The Cycle of Art

sigh, this is too true

[From YouTube - The Cycle of Art]

June 13, 2008

Web Games

A whimsical self portrait created using fd's tools, and these 12 questions from this blog

This is who I am

August 30, 2008

Let's Move On

Must get back into the habit of watching rocketboom.

September 12, 2008

AFL

The Anti-Football League
Uploaded with plasq's Skitch!

Silly season is upon us. Yes it's the end of the football season. This year there are posters all over town, banners, ads on TV, plus the usual mainstream guff in things like the newspapers. Maybe it's my imagination, but the in-ya-face component of the sport seems to be getting worse each year. This prompted me to think of an organisation from many years that used to even get a mention in the Herald Sun, the A.F.L, no not THAT A.F.L, the Anti Football League. Way back before I even picked up a camera, I knew of and admired this organisation. A quick 'google' this morning shows me that it has recently been revived. I am very pleased. I will be signing up straightaway.

I mean who can resist, with this sort of information..

Regardless of the criticism, badges were sold at an alarming rate and the inaugural Douglas Wilkie medal was awarded to then Prime Minister Harold Holt. By July 1967, less than two months after the AFL was conceived, it had more members than the Collingwood Football Club, the largest in the VFL

You should join too!

November 15, 2008

Rad - This bag is RAD - Lifelounge - Daily Goodness

Sizzlin'

[From - This bag is RAD - tanks 2 Lifelounge]

yikes, pass me the tongs

November 16, 2008

Flickr in a Nutshell

A sense of humour IS required

[A kitten on an iPhone at (HDR) sunset on Flickr - Photo Sharing!]

But don't you dare criticise flickr

December 2, 2008

HaHA

Springfield gets an Apple store.

December 10, 2008

Can someone please explain this?


How To Use a Fucking Camera (Part 1) from Merlin Mann on Vimeo.

December 18, 2008

DIY Santa & The Commons

Santa?The Guardian Newspaper, from the UK has a flickr group, dedicated to 'interpretations' of Santa.

Flickr: DIY Santa
Uploaded with plasq's Skitch!

"The Commons"

A couple of days ago, The NYPL, joined the commons on flickr, one of the series of images they've added is from a body of work taken by a federal employee on Ellis Island, Looking at this work, and thinking about photography in "general" and in particular flickr, has anything changed, in the last 100 or so years?

December 23, 2008

Question?

When asked who a certain photograph was of, the owner replied,

"I have neither sister nor brother, but my mother's daughter is the man mother"

Who was in the photograph?

I will answer by e-mail to those who can't work it out.

January 10, 2009

Grammar & Spam?

This gem via kottke.org

[From McSweeney's Internet Tendency: The Elements of Spam.]

Takes the piss out of spammers; and yes it is Saturday morning, I'm just waiting for the rest of the household to surface.

June 18, 2010

Internet Filtering

Technology at its finest.

About humour

This page contains an archive of all entries posted to musings from the photographic memepool [the shallow end] in the humour category. They are listed from oldest to newest.

how to's is the previous category.

interwebs is the next category.

Many more can be found on the main index page or by looking through the archives.

Creative Commons License
This weblog is licensed under a Creative Commons License.
Powered by
Movable Type 4.26